Taking Care of the Caretaker

by Aimee Amodio | More from this Blogger

25 May 2006 03:46 PM

I am one of the primary caretakers for my eighty year old grandmother. Some days are better than others; some days are very frustrating and make me want to scream. If you are responsible for the care of another person -- be it a parent, child, or friend -- don't forget to take some time for yourself.

Being a caretaker is not an easy job. You risk emotional depletion from dealing with an ill or incapable family member -- you give and give and give and expect very little in return. You may become isolated because you are spending so much time caring for that one person. You may become depressed from seeing a loved one suffer. You may feel helpless, or guilty that you aren't doing enough. And you may neglect your own needs and issues because you are dealing with someone else's problems.

No matter how much a person needs you, you have to be able to make and take time for yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, how can you take care of someone else?

1. Make sure you get some private time every day.
2. Use your private time to de-stress -- take a bubble bath, read a book, listen to music, or do something to help you relax.
3. Make time to exercise; it helps reduce stress, too!
4. Allow yourself a full day or night off once in a while.
5. Be sure to eat right -- you're going to need the energy!
6. Keep up with your yearly check-ups -- who is going to take care of you if you get sick?
7. Don't forget your support system -- call your friends and family regularly, and try to get together in person once in a while.

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing things that take care of YOU. My grandmother is a great one for the guilt trip. How dare I go out to dinner with my friends? How dare I plan a day trip into New York City? That is so irresponsible of me. But I understand (even if she doesn't) that I need to have a life of my own outside of being the Medical Police for her.

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Aimee is a fiction writer... dog lover... music lover...

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