Search Results for: blog when its time to stop being a caretaker

Caretaker Stories: Feeling Guilty

I’ve been composing this post in my head since I read about the Utah State University study on the relationship between caretakers and Alzheimer’s patients. I was one of the primary caretakers for my grandmother — who among other health issues has Alzheimer’s disease — for the better part of three years. It’s hard, frustrating, stressful, exhausting work, and eventually I had to stop. I packed up and moved across the country to have a fresh start in a new place, surrounded by friends. And left my mother doing the majority of my grandmother’s care. When I was still there, … Continue reading →

Caretaker Stories: Moments of Lucidity

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Friends and family who have experienced the progression of Alzheimer’s disease say that things get a lot easier once the person with the disease stops remembering. I can definitely see how that can be the case. People with the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease are often combative and difficult to deal with. As example, I offer my own experiences as caretaker for my grandmother. In the early days of the disease, she was very defensive about gaps in her memory. If she couldn’t remember something, it was because nobody had told her. Sometimes, her brain would come up with a … Continue reading →

When it’s Time to Stop Being a Caretaker

Everyone has their own personal limits. Their own measuring stick, with a point where they just can’t take any more. My mother — who is now the primary caretaker for my grandmother, who has Alzheimer’s disease (and a host of other health issues) — chose her stopping point a long time ago. She decided that it would be time for my grandmother to go into a nursing home if my grandmother couldn’t recognize members of the family anymore. As long as my grandmother can recognize her children and grandchildren, mom is willing to jump through hoops to keep my grandmother … Continue reading →

Adding Insult to Injury

How low can you go? Imagine the joy associated with conceiving and carrying triplets to term, then dealing with the unspeakable horror of never getting to see, speak or smother them with love. Welcome to Abbie Dorn’s life. The 34-year-old mother of healthy 5-year-old triplets suffered severe brain damage in June 2006 when a doctor accidentally cut her uterus during delivery. Dorn lost a tremendous amount of blood thanks to the doctor’s mistake. In addition, her heart stopped on the delivery table, but when doctors tried to resuscitate her the defibrillator they used malfunctioned and Dorn’s brain suffered major trauma … Continue reading →

Watching Alzheimer’s Progress From Afar

Back when I lived in New Jersey, I was one of the main caretakers for my grandmother. I lived with her, so it was usually easy enough for me to handle insulin injections for her diabetes, daily meds (for various health conditions, including Alzheimer’s disease), grooming, and light cleaning. In May 2007, I moved out. I was feeling too stressed and frustrated with the caretaking duties, and starting to have disturbing dreams about hurting her deliberately. That was when I said enough was enough. I didn’t want there to even be a chance of those dreams becoming reality. It’s been … Continue reading →

Relationship between Patient and Caregiver Makes a Difference

A study from Utah State University took a look at the relationship between Alzheimer’s patients and caregivers — and how that relationship can impact the patient’s mental and physical decline. Since 1994, researchers from Utah State University have been following more than five thousand people in order to look at risk factors for dementia. All participants were age 65 or older at the start of the study. Out of the initial five thousand, close to two hundred developed dementia and were being cared for by a spouse or (adult) child. Researchers interviewed the caregivers about their relationship with the patient … Continue reading →

Child Abuse: A New Case and Two Updates

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Fifty miles north of Houston, a 26 year old father has been arrested for causing very serious injuries to his four month old twins. The children had been separately taken to the hospital, both with hemorrhaging in their brains and eyes. On December 23, the female twin was brought to an area hospital by her mother. Later in the day, the father came to the same hospital with the twin brother. The parents do not live together. Police investigators believe that the assaults took place in the father’s home. Apparently, there is undisclosed evidence that the father injured the babies. … Continue reading →